I found this article writing by a senior in high school on the topic of kissing. I thought it was interesting and very well thought through and written, but then my thought was- he must be a wierdo right. I mean what senior would say this, unless he never dates. Further reading, I found he is a normal guy with a girlfriend. Anyway, read this with a open mind.
Premaritial Kissing?
I wrote this today for a friend who has friends at college who are confessing Christians, but believe that there is nothing wrong with kissing before marriage. I'm not here to get in their face, but here are my thoughts, and what I believe Scripture has to say about it...
We were created with the purpose of glorifying God in everything we do.(1 Corinthians 10:31, 1 Corinthians 6:20, 1 Peter 2:12, Jeremiah 13:16, Acts 12:23, Romans 4:20, Romans 16:27, Philippians 4:20, 1 Thessalonians 2:12, 1 Timothy 1:17, Jude 1:25, Revelation 7:12, Revelation 14:7) This means that we are called to do everything for Him, not for ourselves, or our own pleasures. He has called us to give Him glory, and live for Him alone. In everything we do, our first question should be, "Will this glorify God?" and "How?". Anything we do that we cannot clearly see as God-glorifying is sin. Kissing before marriage is something that is done to please self, and to bring satisfaction to yourself. I highly doubt there are many people who do it for the purpose of bringing God glory.
God has commanded us to flee temptation.(1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 10:14, 1 Timothy 6:11, 2 Timothy 2:22, Matthew 26:41, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 1 Peter 3:10-12 etc...) We are not to do anything that would lead us into temptation. We are to avoid sin, not "flirt" with it. Sin is wicked and evil in the eyes of the Lord. It is the enemy of God. We should not see how close we can get to it without actually going into it, we should stay as far away as possible. We shouldn't be trying to see how close we can get to the line without crossing over it, we should be trying to stay as far away from the line as possible. The more you open yourself up to temptation, the easier it will be to go just one step closer. Sin is subtle in its workings, you don't just suddenly sin in some huge way. It works into your heart slowly, over time. Kissing before marriage could easily lead to greater sins of sexual immorality. Don't put yourself in a position that allows sin to take hold of your heart. Even if there is nothing wrong with kissing in and of itself, it allows temptation to creep in, and takes your heart off of God.
We are to reserve ourselves for our future spouse(Proverbs 2:16-19, Proverbs 5:8, Proverbs 5:15-23, Malachi 2:15, Luke 16:18, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, 1 Peter 3:1-7) God has called us to remain pure. (Matthew 5:8, Ephesians 5:5, Philippians 1:10, 2 Timothy 2:22, Titus 1:15-16, James 1:27, James 3:17, 1 Peter 1:22, 1 John 3:3, Galatians 5:16-25) Kissing is meant to be between a husband and a wife. If you were married, you wouldn't go kissing somebody you weren't married to. That would obviously be sin. Why is it different before marriage? You don't know for sure who you will marry someday. Reserve yourself for your future husband/wife. And even if you are absolutely sure that you will one day get married, you are also called to patience and self-control. (Job 6:11, Ecclesiastes 7:8. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 1 Corinthians 13:4, Hebrews 6:15, Revelation 2:3, Proverbs 25:28, 1 Corinthians 7:9, 1 Corinthians 9:25, Galatians 5:22-23, 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, 2 Timothy 1:7, Titus 1:8, Titus 2:6, Titus 2:12, 1 Peter 4:7, 2 Peter 1:5-11 etc..) This is the way to walk in the Lord. He calls you to patience.
God has called us to live according to the Spirit, not according to the flesh(Titus 2:12, Romans 7:5, Romans 7:18, Romans 7:25, Romans 8:1-17, Romans 12:2, Romans 13:14, 1 Corinthians 3:3, 2 Corinthians 10:3, Galatians 5:13, Galatians 5:16-25, Galatians 6:8, Ephesians 2:3, etc...) God has called us to live by His Spirit. Kissing outside of marriage may be something regularly done in the world today. However, God calls us to forsake the things of this world and live solely for Him. 1 John 2:15-17 says, "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."
God calls us to be witnesses in the world(1 Thessalonians 2:9-12, Acts 1:8, Acts 5:32, Matthew 5:13) God asks us to be salt and light in the earth. How can we be salt and light, standing out in the darkness, if we practice the very same things? The people in the world hear Christians talking about how holy marriage is, but then they see those same Christians kissing outside marriage, and living in ways that are no different than the world.
A few more verses you should take into consideration...
1 Corinthians 10:23 - "All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up.
1 Corinthians 6:12-15 - "All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be enslaved by anything. "Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food"—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 - Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Proverbs 6:27-28 - Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched?
There may not be a specific biblical command not to kiss before marriage, but not everything is helpful, and not everything builds up. We are members of Christ, and we are called to glorify God with our bodies. We belong to Him now. We must devote our entire lives to Him, and not "flirt" with sin and temptation. The more we "flirt" with sin, the closer we become to being "scorched".